Sarah Palin's speech as interpreted by William Shatner

Shatner is a god. Yeah, I said it.

What it's like to be a Fenway Park stadium vendor

A very well-written story from ESPN's Page 2 about what it's like to be a stadium vendor at Fenway Park. You know, the hot dog guys, the beer guys who make it so you don't have to get out of your seat to still gorge yourself on ballpark hot dogs and beer.

Hot dogs are $4.75 apiece. That means for every hot dog a vendor sells, he (or she, since there are a handful of women selling stuff in the lyric little bandbox's cramped seats) collects roughly 60 cents. Bottom line: You gotta move some serious merchandise to make any serious scratch.

The night of Lester's no-no, I made a pretty penny. In the seven years I've been hawking at Fenway, I've made close to $40,000 in commissions -- which maybe sounds impressive, but since it's spread out over roughly 60 games a season it averages out to about $95 a night.

Read the whole thing. Well, I hope you read everything that I link to, but read this one especially.

Somewhat hilarious liveblog of the WWE Raw with Shaq

Shaquille O'Neal hosted an episode of WWE's Raw (that's pro wrestling) last night, and SLAM magazine liveblogged the whole thing.

Jericho climbs into the ring and stands toe-to-toe with Shaq, who glares way, way down at Jericho.

Jericho says, “When I heard the most dominant player in NBA history was guest-hosting RAW, I automatically assumed it was Kobe Bryant.” I laugh out loud.

I didn't watch it, but found the liveblog hilarious anyway.

Creating the Baseball Hall of Fame plaques

Every inductee into the Baseball Hall of Fame has a bronze plaque with their likeness and a few words about them. One full size plaque is made for the Hall of Fame and one miniature plaque is given as a memento to the Hall of Famer (or their family).

Paul Lukas of ESPN's Page 2 took a look at the process of making the plaques.

With hundreds of thousands of fans visiting Cooperstown each year, Ellis is arguably the highest-profile sculptor in America -- and yet also, paradoxically, one of the most anonymous. I wanted to learn more about how the plaques are manufactured, so I recently visited Pittsburgh to see Ellis at work and watch the rest of Matthews' production process (you can see a video of my visit at the top of this page).

Congressional birthers admit Obama was born in the US

It's a small thing, but everyone present in the House today voted on a proclamation that, in part, said Obama was born in Hawaii. The non-binding resolution was ostensibly about the 50th anniversary of Hawaii's statehood.

Among the Yes votes: Rep. Bill Posey (R-FL), the lead sponsor of the infamous "Birther Bill" to require presidential candidates to present their birth certificates, and who had previously said he wouldn't "swear on a stack of Bibles" that Obama is a natural-born American citizen. Several other co-sponsors of the Birther Bill also voted yes: Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), Dan Burton (R-IN), John Culberson (R-TX), Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), Randy Neugebauer (R-TX), and Ted Poe (R-TX).

The far-Right Wing of the Republican Party (some would argue that is the base) will be so disappointed.

You don't want to become a secret service agent

Well, maybe you do, but this article from the Washington Post on their training techniques may dissuade you:

Within seconds of entering the mat-room bar, Krista's partner, an Army National Guardsman who earned a Bronze Star, is knocked to the ground. A role-player drags Krista across the floor by the cuff of her pants. He straddles Krista and punches her.

"Get off me!" Krista screams.

"Get ready to die!" the music screams.

"Keep fighting!" Mixon screams.

The role-player twists Krista's arms around her neck and pulls, choking her with her own hands. She gags. Her nose is bleeding. Her cheek is bleeding. Blood blisters on her legs, bruised by training bullets while chasing assassins through the woods, trickle and ooze.

On her back, in the dark, Krista watches the role-player's face swirl into darker shades of gray. She is losing consciousness. Mixon yells, "Do something!"

It's long, but it's an excellent read.

Mike Vick "conditionally" reinstated to the NFL

The rumors were that Michael Vick would be suspended for four games to start this year's NFL season. He was recently released from prison after pleading guilty to dog-fighting charges.

From the NFL Twitter account:

Commissioner ROGER GOODELL notified MICHAEL VICK today that he has been reinstated to the NFL on a conditional basis.

No word on if any team actually wants him to play with them, though.

Bernazard fired?

I'm kind of sad to see Tony Bernazard go, reportedly fired from the New York Mets organization. Wait, you don't know who Bernazard is?

Well, he's the Mets' vice president for player development, but that's not why he has been a topic of sports talk radio fodder for the past few weeks.

Bernazard reportedly pulled off his shirt and challenged the Double-A Binghamton Mets in the tirade, about 10 days before the All-Star break. He in particular targeted middle infield prospect Jose Coronado, according to the report.

Some guy named Bernazard tore off his shirt and challenged Double-A players to fight.

How can you not like the guy?

Is this an insult or a compliment to Obama?

FIFA (the world governing body of soccer) President Sepp Blatter stopped by the White House to see new President Barack Obama.

The Blatter-led FIFA delegation to the White House also included FIFA Vice-President and CONCACAF president Jack Warner, FIFA secretary general Jérôme Valcke, and U.S. Soccer Federation president Sunil Gulati.

CBS News White House reporter Mark Knoller wrote on his Twitter account following the meeting, most likely from the pool report:

Blatter says Obama is not good enough with a soccer ball to play on a winning team - but is good enough for a losing team.

Blatter also invited Obama to South Africa in 2010 for the World Cup; Obama is attempting to bring the World Cup to the United States in either 2018 or 2022. The 32-team tournament is arguably the biggest sporting event in the world.

So Obama might just make an appearance to help out on that front.

Obama's daughters play the game and in a letter to Blatter about getting the World Cup in the United States, Obama cited playing in his youth in Indonesia.

So how much skill does Obama have? Well, at least a little bit accordign to, again, Knoller's Twitter:

Soccer in the Oval Office: Soccer federation chief gives Obama a soccer ball and says he kicked it around and even headed it.

Don't quit your day job, Coach K

Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (I had to Google that name to find out how to spell it) think she's funny, but he really isn't. At least if this anecdote is indicative.

Dime: LeBron has a reputation as a bit of a goof, always joking around and trying to keep things light. In what ways did he do that with you?
Coach K: LeBron is really funny—whenever there was a dull moment he would make light of something, maybe start singing or performing. So we always goofed around. I decided to play a joke on him. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “LeBron, I think I’m going to get a tattoo.” He looked back at me confused and asked, “What are you thinking about?” I told him that I’m going to get “Chosen 1” tattooed across my back. He laughed, and then bent over and said, “Coach, there’s only one Chosen 1.”